« Just because you don’t like books doesn’t mean you’re inferior to those who do. It doesn’t mean you’re not smart, deep, or interesting. It doesn’t mean no one deserves to love or date you. It just means that you have different interests! You are still you; you are still a woman, and there’s no wrong way to be one. »
A while ago, I came across this Tumblr post and ever since, my thoughts on womanliness could finally start flowing orderly. It wasn\’t feminism. I once heard Raphaël Einthoven, one of my favorite philosophers, discussing this phenomena. Snobbism is an act of social differentiation, an attempt of superiority with material and immaterial possessions. I wrote down the phrase that become the title of this post. It was womanliness.
What is a woman, nowadays?
In 2014, I was at the airport of Marrakech and I started to write (yes, it can catch you at 5:30 am):
\ »I don\’t want to be like the other girls. I can stand it for a few hours, but then it becomes a pain in the ass. I\’m not asking to be feminine nor tomboyish, but just have to be whatever they want to, keeping a minimum amount of respect to the rest.
It is a heavy burden, to follow the precepts of a superficial society. Some women dress for men: as a part of a mating ritual or to convey a warning: \ »Don\’t mess with me, I\’m a serious girl\ ». Some others do so to compete against other women. Some just dress, to put it simple, to feel pretty. But hey, men also undergo the scrutiny of society or their peers: how to behave, what to say, what are they supposed to know, or not.\ »
I was 20 years-old and already blasée.
There is this website that I like to read from time to time, called The Art of Manliness. The name sounds macho and sexist, but nothing can be further from the truth. It contains recommendations and tutorials for skills in order to build a true man, a respectful, strong, responsible and caring man. Of course we react differently and have biological differences, but these are sort of necessary. It\’s simple math, if we were all the same, how can we make new and interesting combinations?
I have been trying to find a website like The Art of Manliness but about womanhood. They are not numerous, but they are there. the only one that caught my attention was Darling Magazine, because it didn\’t have a married-with-children focus. I\’m not against the latter, I know that I surely inspires a lot of women, but it\’s like going to university without doing high school first. There\’s more in women than family, marriage, relationships and fashion! Let\’s talk about attitude first, and then about others!
Bref, most of the girls my age just want advice on being a good normal person.