Two years ago, I wrote an entry that clearly expressed my disappointment and sadness, newly arrived in a French school. And I admit that I wasn\’t very nice to French people, qualifying them as \ »hypocrites\ » (as everybody can be in the world, keep on reading!).
Now, two years later, I have made up my mind. One semester is larger than enough to get used to a new lifestyle, and adopt new habits. One year is enough to make friends and un-friend others. But two years are more than enough to change people, indeed.
It is true that I met people from every corner in the world in Hong Kong, but those encounters and acquaintances revealed themselves to be quite shallow. They didn\’t allow me to define a profile of socially accepted behaviour in that city. I fell deep into the Erasmus/exchange students \ »dark bubble\ », hanging out mostly with foreigners and exchange students, and only got to meet locals during the last few months before going back home (by the way, where is that?).
How was the exchange student life?
- Usually they\’ve planned this exchange semester, so they\’ve been saving up money to spend and travel around some neighbor countries – 30%
- They\’re also in the middle of their higher studies, most of them are actually on the final track before graduation. Which means there is not a huge academic pressure on them, and therefore… They can party all day and all night – 30%
- If its their first semester abroad, then they\’ll quickly compose their \ »international pack\ », and there will be at least 4 persons who live in different continents and/or every one belongs to a different country. And they\’ll do exchange students stuff, like checking the boxes in their places-to-visit-things-to-do list – 30%
- Meeting \ »local” culture. This goes from big clichés to some exceptions that confirm the rule – 10%
Once in France, I didn\’t really change my social circle during the first semester. I kept on hanging out only with exchange students. And the same old story repeated, hello and good-bye back and forth. Soon, that life didn\’t attract me as before. Of course, I was still interested in meeting people from all over the world, and what is more, I even got to found a student society with a fellow classmate. But France let me look at this vision from another perspective. All I needed was a lot of patience and God would soon reward me.
I was actually shocked here, because of how hard was making friends using French, when less than a year before I was randomly meeting people in Hong Kong bars. What was wrong with me? Is it my accent? Is it my face? Is it because it doesn\’t stick with my nationality? What\’s the problem with being Peruvian of Chinese descent? Eventually, my cheer-up godmother sprung out from the foam of the Atlantic Ocean, right next to the school and she told me that there wasn\’t any issue with me and that I\’d better get studying if I wanted to be productive. I must say that was some wise advice, because it lifted my spirits and I became more confident. I reminded me that I liked technology, that I loved coding, and that I wasn\’t THAT bad in maths.
During this period, I watched my French classmates, freshmen like me. Most of them still acted like high schoolers. It was really pissing off, being surrounded of children. I was in my third rentrée already! The few good French friends that I had made till that moment were my age or older, and they didn\’t live in the same city as I did. I became somehow apathetic, caring only for my grades and my knowledge.
As I said before, patience is a precious gift from God. And patience led me to my first good friends from my class. Actually, it was not only patience, but also hard work during class. No, just joking, I was really patient. I am (kinda) sure that even if I hadn\’t slipped him my homework he would\’ve been my friend anyways. And I made a group of damn good friends. It had been so long since I hadn\’t hang out with classmates, since I left Peru. They were all standard French guys, born and raised and pretty happy with their lives and earthly concerns. No, I prefer not to call them French. They\’re my friends.
I found out that they are as normal as any other 20 year-old. That they like being silly just for the laughs. And that loyalty is an international value. That once there is mutual trust, jokes can get pretty harsh (but it\’s okay, I try to accept that its their sense of humour).
I\’ve learnt with them that French aren\’t prouder than any other person concerning his/her country, and that pride comes with love for the country. If you put an Italian next to a French, both will praise their countries\’s food and culture after rallying against their politicians.
I\’ve figured out that their complains are as serious as a conversation about the weather. They are capable of extracting the darkest opinions on a subject, and therefore most French are immunized against the negativity virus. Negative vibes are like flies, you either chase them, wait for them to leave or get used to them. It still what gets up my nose, by the way, so I decided a while ago to stop reading any comments to media links on Facebook. Some people have an amazing ability to split hairs, even in food websites.
They taught me to behave correctly in order to not freak out others, and corrected my spoken French ad-infinitum. And what touched me the most, people around me started seeing me, as Ana, and not \ »the Chinese know-it-all\ » (well, they just see me as a know-it-all now).
Most importantly, I learned that stereotypes are bad friends, and that although we can\’t avoid having them running between our thoughts (admit it), we can avoid applying them. So I stick to my best conclusion until now, which is no matter where you go, you will always find goodies and meanies.
I could have easily written down two lists: likes and dislikes of my life in France. But I think that deserves another whole entry. So far, I have realised that I love this country that has adopted me and that I\’m not entitled to hold any grudge against it, me being the guest who wanted things her own way.